Patiently Waiting: Why Am I Waiting To Date?

Its the question that no one seems to know the answer to. Its been on my heart to get this out and tell it to the masses. Here's why I'm choosing to take a different path than the one our culture calls us to walk on, when it comes to dating.  

1. I am a girl.
2. I like boys.
3. I am a Christian.

Number 4 would be, I do not date. Most people usually ask why, and I usually answer with, "I'm not allowed to." But really, there's a lot more to it than me just not being allowed. In ways, its more my own choice than my parent's law alone.

Yes, I still like boys. A lot, actually. I crush on them, and have them as friends, but it doesn't go much farther than that.

I am a Christian girl, who likes boys. A lot.

I'm simply choosing to completely give my life to God until the time is right -- when it's alright with my parents, when my heart is hidden well in the Lord, and when he, my future husband, is ready.

I respect my parents' decisions for me, and realize that they do what they do because they love me and want the best for me. I've known since I was able to understand the meaning of "dating" that it was off limits to me until my parents gave me the green light.

Now, at any time, I could go behind my parents back and go out with a boy. My friends have done it. It wouldn't be hard, and no one would find out. Pretty harmless right? The boy and I would be happy, my friends will say how cute we are, and my parents will be happy too, since they don't know.

And won't God be happy too, because I'm happy?

No.

God won't be happy because by dating behind your parents' back, or before they say its okay, you are breaking one of His ten major rules for us. "Honor your father and mother." (Ephesians 6:1-2)

The Lord gave us parents for a purpose. To nurture us, love us, teach us, here on earth. They do what they do because they love us. Sometimes, this means that we may not like the rules or restrictions they set for us, such as in dating. But the rules, the discipline, the chores, all those things we despise, are there to help us become better. And God wants us to be the best we can be, so He gave us our parents to help us out.

We've got to respect our parents, who are put here by God, and not let our raving emotions get the best of us and cause us to do irrational things against our parents. I believe this goes even if you are permitted to date.

I am waiting to date, so that I can prepare myself for the situations I may find myself in when I am in a relationship, and so that I can further hide my heart in the Lord. (Have you heard this awesome quote? "A woman's heart should be so hidden in the Lord, that a man has to seek Him to find her.")

I want God to be the center of my life before I invite a man to be a part of it. God gave me life, and all of the glory is due to Him alone (I Corinthians 10:31). I want God to be #1 in my life, therefore I, and anything that has to do with me, is second.

In the time that I spend as a single woman, I will be readying myself for my desired future as a wife. Commitment, contentment, patience, perseverance, trust, faithfulness, and other good characteristics are some of the necessary ingredients for a long, healthy marriage.

 During my single period, I'll be practicing these characteristics with littler things. For example, commitment to reading my Bible often, patience with the people around me, and perseverance during tough times.

As well as preparing for a lifelong relationship, there are so many other things I can focus on while I'm single. School, church, activities in the community, and outings with friends and family, are only a few. But don't get me wrong, its not like you can't still do these things while you're in a relationship; you can. However, when you're single, you can have more focus on things other than a boy. Think about it, when you're heart is focused on a relationship, nothing else is as important as spending time with the person.

What if that relationship that is so greatly exclusive was with Jesus? I'm choosing to wait for my one and only, until my relationship with Jesus is #1. We must love God first, before our man, ladies. If it wasn't for God, we wouldn't even have a man to love in the first place!

I once heard a couple being interviewed about their relationship say that they were glad that they didn't rush, because God was still working in their hearts, preparing them for a serious relationship. When they first met, each of them still had a lot of growing to do, before they came together as one.

I love this and it is so true! I know that I have much to learn and many qualities still to acquire before I date. I don't know who my husband will be, or if I'll even have one, though I pray so. I pray that he is also preparing himself in the Lord, and saving himself for me, as I am for him.

I will never date for fun.

Dating for fun completely defeats the purpose of a relationship. Why spend so much of your time, your money, your energy, your thoughts, and your heart on a relationship that you know won't last longer than a few weeks or maybe a month or two? What's the point, if its not going to go anywhere?

Why date without a purpose?

Dating without purpose has been one of the leading causes that there is so much drama in elementary/middle school classrooms. The idea that a crush should automatically turn into a more-than-a-friendship relationship, has gotten popular among young children. I'll bet that if you were to ask them why they dated, they wouldn't have a meaningful answer.

I'm waiting to date, so that my relationship with another person has a purpose.

What purpose, you ask? Marriage. I want to date to find the one man that I will love, and will love me, forever. I do not want to waste my time with pointless relationships, ones that I know won't last forever. I will not lower my standards, to have fun.

By waiting until late high school/college to date, when I find my one and only, we can get married whenever we choose. By waiting, I am saving myself from early heartbreak. I'm shielding myself from temptation. I'm waiting on God's time, not mine, and in it, I'll be praising Jesus and praying for my future husband.

I am a girl, who loves Jesus, and likes boys.
I am waiting to date, saving myself for my one and only.
When I do date, it will be with purpose.

But, do you know how incredibly hard it is to be/do these things? Sometimes I think people believe its easy for us to say no to boys.

No.

Its way hard. I get those butterfly feelings, like all girls do. I have crushes. I'm attracted to the male species. Of course, God made me that way. The difference is that I put a leash on those blazing feelings.

Flirting, as much as my human instincts demand it, I have to try hard to abstain. If I'm asked out, the answer is no, even when my desire is otherwise. Its terribly troublesome when guys overrun your thoughts and you can't take any action in their favor. And maybe the hardest of all these, is peer pressure and standing on the sidelines while your friends do everything you're holding off on.

Waiting is hard.

But it is so worth it.

Final Note:

I hope that now, if you know someone that is waiting, you understand a little more as to the reason behind it. I hope that if you know anyone that isn't allowed to date, you show them this, because it took me a long time to figure it out. I also hope that you understand that everyone is different, and I will never hate you if you don't wait. More importantly, God won't hate you.
If I gave you one piece of advice for dating now instead of waiting, it'd be this: Save yourself for your one and only. Please do not give yourself away to a relationship you don't know will last. Save that special moment (not sure the ages reading here, I'll keep it PG.) for marriage.